A glimpse inside the mind of a shopaholic

It turns out it doesn't even have to be fashion or beauty related to make me want to buy it...

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So, my seven-year-old adopted a snail.

It was a whole thing. First of all, he and his friends found the snail in the garden. They brought it some leaves to eat, and named it Shelly — because, obviously.

Well, as soon as the snail had a name, I knew we were doomed. Sure enough…

“Mummy, can we keep it?” asked Max, his expression hopeful. “I’m scared something might happen to Shelly if we just leave her in the garden. Can we bring her inside?”

“No,” said my husband immediately. “We’re not keeping a snail as a pet. Snails are not pets.”

Are they, though, I wondered? Can snails be pets? Because, the fact was, Max and his little friends had spent literally hours at this point obsessing over their new snail friend and its wellbeing. Every time they left the garden for a few minutes and then returned to find her still in the little leafy ‘den’ they’d created for her, they were beside themselves with excitement. But I knew that, at some point they’d come back and Shelly would be gone. And, at that point, things would become … tricky.

So I hit up my old friend Google.

“Can you keep garden snails as pets?” I typed, expecting Google to return a resounding “NO, GIRL.” Maybe a “HAHA” for good measure.

Actually, though, it turns out you CAN, in fact, keep garden snails as pets. Many people do. They are, according to Google, extremely low-maintenance pets, which can live up to 10 years, and are a good way to give children the responsibility of caring for an animal, without many of the difficulties that come with larger animals. So, keeping the snail could be a valuable learning experience for Max, as well just being fun for him; which is important too, obviously. I mean, because of our precarious financial situation right now, I feel like I spend SO much time saying NO to things he wants to do or buy. But here he was, asking to keep a garden snail. What would be harm in saying yes for once?

By now, the snail had been brought temporarily indoors to shelter from the rain (I actually think snails quite like rain, but kids, of course, do not, and they wanted to continue watching Shelly…), and I was almost as invested as they were.

So I hit up Amazon. Which, for someone addicted to shopping, was the very worst possible thing I could have done…